Away we go!!!

The day is finally here!  In less than 48 hours we will meet our son.  Goodbyes to the kids at home were hard last night.  Rosie cried off and on for the last two days, with lots of hugs and many prayers in between.  I'm not sure Love Bug understands exactly how long we will be gone - 13 days is a big number for a 4 year old.  I packed a treat bag for each of them for each day we are gone and had them laying out in the dining room for the last few weeks.  We explained to Love Bug that we would be gone until she had opened the last bag so the other day, as I was talking to her about us leaving I asked her, "Love Bug, what will be changing when mommy and daddy come home from China?"  She paused for a minute, looking up at the ceiling, and then with wide eyes, replied, "All of my presents will be gone!"  Ha!  Glad to know she has her priorities straight ;)  T-man is our rock.  He has helped me a ton with last minute details and even cleaned the house with me yesterday but when it came time to say goodbye last night, I felt warm tears fall on my arms as we prayed with him.  They are all excited to meet little man and are going to love him like crazy, but this two weeks is going to be stretching for all of us.

We loaded up the van at 3am this morning and headed to the airport. I think I slept a few hours off an on through the night last night but my mind and heart were racing.  Mostly I just laid awake praying for all that is ahead.  Little Man has most likely been told what is ahead for him but at 2 years old, I am certain he will be a very scared little boy when we first meet him.  As I prayed last night, I remembered Jeremiah 29:11 and how true it is for our little man:  "For I know the plans I have for you,' declares The Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you a hope and a future.'"  My stomach has been doing somersaults since yesterday and as I prayed that God would calm my anxious heart He reminded me how clearly He is in control of this journey.  "Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."  I have been reminding myself of this Truth all morning.  

We are now on a layover in Detroit until we board our plan to Shanghai.  Our last layover will be in  Shanghai with a final destination of Fuzhou.  All told, we will be traveling 34 hours - phew!   We can hardly stand the wait until we meet our son but so excited it is just hours away.  We arrive in Fuzhou at 11:00 pm China time on Saturday - we will check in to our hotel, get some rest (hopefully) and meet Little Man at our hotel on Sunday afternoon.  He will be with us for the entire duration of our trip after that.  I'll try to post once we land in Shanghai but for now, goodbye to the USA and Ni Hao China!

We're Getting Close Jack!

I keep Jack's bedroom door closed at our house.  Somehow, it feels like a sacred place waiting for the little man who orphanage workers have told us is "all boy" to run and play, rest and restore.  

I creaked the door open yesterday and tears just started to fall as I stepped into his space.  I know that for me, this place feels safe and warm.  But the reality is that it is nothing like the place Jack calls home right now - living in a small 800 sq.  ft. flat in the middle of a large, metropolitan city with an adoring foster mom and two foster brothers.  Life is about to shift for our sweet boy - in so many ways - more ways than I can really even imagine…sounds, smells, tastes, textures, voices, people, music.  

"Lord, lead us to understand the cry of his heart," is what I pray when I walk into that room.  It is such a strange mixture of emotions in these days of waiting - we are OOpER excited to be close to bringing our son home but there is also the emotion of recognizing that the journey is only just beginning for our little one.

The anticipation of travel is absolutely killing me right now!  We have had a lot happen over the last few weeks with paperwork.  It is most likely that we will be traveling within a MONTH!  The days are slowly rolling by.  

But I am coping with copious amounts of retail therapy - ridiculous numbers of trips to Target.  I'll be emptying the dishwasher when all of a sudden I will think, "Oh… we need Benadryl in case he has an allergic reaction!"  And…. off to Target I go… again.  Yep, crazy person stuff.  ;)

We are supposed to receive word this week on the last document necessary for the chinese government to approve our travel and then we wait 2 weeks or so to get approval to come GET OUR SON!!!

AAAAkkkkhhh!!!  OVER THE MOON!!  It is very likely that Dustin and I will be in China with Jack for our 15th anniversary- what an amazing way to spend that day.

Meanwhile, you can find me stalking the aisles of Target or ironing 2T button up shirts (uh huh, I did that - couldn't resist!)

Life Lessons From My Mom

There is one person in all the world that I can call and sit in the quiet with and feel comfortable.  She is my mentor, friend, cheerleader, spiritual confidante.

My mom is my hero.  Today is a monumental day in her life.  30+ years ago she began studying the bible by attending a weekly bible study through Bible Study Fellowship, an organization that encourages deep and thoughtful study of God's Word in community.  26 years ago Mom began to teach a class of women each week to fall deeply in love with the Holy words that God has given us.  I watched my mom set aside hours at a time, when I was a girl, to sit disciplined and quiet with commentaries strewn about and the Bible open before her.  She has taught hundreds of women through the years.  She gave up leisurely hours with friends and showed unwavering discipline to the task she knew God had called her to.  Every week, whatever the message she needed to deliver, she was faithful to pray, to study, to show other women how deeply God loves them.

Today is her last lecture to the group of women God has called her to serve for the last 26 years. I am more proud of her than she will ever know or I can ever express.  Her commitment to Bible Study Fellowship is just a glimmer of all that she has been obedient to as she walks with Jesus.   I wish I could  be there to listen to her speak this last time… tears fall as I write this because I can remember the very first time I went and sat in the back of the church and listened to her teach that sanctuary of women for the first time.  I was in middle school.  I was so proud that she was my mom.  I remember thinking, "Boy, if only God will give me half as much knowledge and strength as my mom!"  It left such an impression on me, as I watched my mom prepare her talks, study and care for the women she served - it spoke to how significant she felt we, as her kids, were.  As a kid I often wondered why my mom was "sitting at home with us" when she was smart as a whip and could be doing "big things".  That began to change as I matured and considered the eternal impact she was having on me, through being available and present and constant.

I can't be there to hear her speak today but I am so very grateful for her obedience to Jesus… And she is leaving it, in part, for me.  She and my dad have chosen to move here for the next two years so they can be close by to help with the kids, should Jack have lengthy hospital stays after he is home.  They are coming to serve - how apropos!

Just in honor of all that she has taught me, I thought I'd write a short list of the life lessons I have learned from my mom along the way - of course, it is not a complete list, but then again… I'm not done learning from her!  And I cannot WAIT to have her close by in just a few short months!!

1.  Life is worth living.
2.  Take chances.
3.  People are more important than things.
4.  Always set the dinner table like it is a special occasion - the people you eat with are who you share your life with.
5.  Say, "I'm sorry".
6.  Greet your husband with sincerity after a long day at work.
7.  God deserves our first moments in the day and our last moments at night.
8.  Prayer allows us to thank God, not just for our things but more importantly, for who He is.
9.  Giving thoughtful gifts comes ridiculously easy for some people (my mom) and horrendously difficult for others (me).
10.  Hymns are special glimpses into the beauty of faith.
11.  Dessert is worth it.
12.  Planning dinner should be colorful - consider a rainbow of colors when planning meals.
13.  The Arts - an orchestra concert, a play, a musical - keep our souls alive.
14.  Always look for opportunities to serve the people around you.
15.  Leave things better than you found them.
16.  You can't do it all - prayerfully consider what you will choose
17.  Staying home with my children is purposeful and meaningful and should be done with excellence.
18.  The woman written about in Proverbs 31 does exist - she's my mom!

Is it YOU?

More than a warning of things to come … destruction has entered in.

The alarms are going off all around.  

Sirens blaring. 

Lights flashing in succession.  

The sound is deafening.

But it is met with silence… No one stirs in the homes on the neighborhood street.  

Despite the danger lurking behind corners, the city sleeps. 

The people peer out through their windows and stare.  They exchange glances and give one another well-meaning hugs and pats on the back.  They are shocked at the mayhem that has taken over their once quiet street but they wait behind closed doors.  

"Certainly there is someone coming to deal with this!  Someone with equipment and skills to handle this mess," is all they can say as they stare….

I startled awake and the clock read 2:49 am.  My stomach was in anxious knots.  I was restless and couldn't think of why.  But then I remembered the dream.  

I just learned this weekend that the orphanage Little Man has called his home was chosen to be a "safe baby drop" for an entire province in China.  The "baby drop" was established to provide families a safe place to bring their babies (many with special needs) should they not be able to care for them.  It allows the parents to not suffer prosecution for their abandonment.  The safe drop at Little Man's orphanage was started in January.  This one drop site has been seeing 1-3 newborn children being dropped per day since its inception just two months ago!

That is where my dream and the baby drop story began to merge.

Each of these littlest of lives is precious to our God.  Every heartbeat gets noticed.  

But how often do we hear about these sweet ones and, although our heart breaks, we continue to do nothing.  We pat each other on the back and stare in desperation at the crisis all around but figure that someone else will come.  The answer is in someone else's hands.

But what if the answer is us?  What if it is You?  I absolutely know that we cannot save each and every child.  But I also don't think God expects us to.  

Like I have said before, I don't think everyone is called to adopt a child.  But I also can't sit idly by, having heard this information about these kiddos who need a family and not propose that it just MIGHT be YOU.  What if your child is waiting for you in China? Or Guatemala?  Or Ukraine? Or the USA?  Do not let idleness and fear keep you from doing what you may be meant to do.

Room for Little Man

This waiting time allows us to get everything we can ready for our Little Man to join our family.  I can't do anything to make the wait go faster, but I can spend the days we are apart preparing for his arrival.  Besides reading books, praying for his transition and ability to receive love from his new family, I've been busy for the past few weeks getting his room ready.

I learned something through bringing our daughter, Love Bug, home from Ethiopia.  We were so excited to show her the new bedroom she would be sleeping in that first day home.  She followed me up the stairs and around the corner, down the hall and as I opened the door to her room, I expected to see a wide grin staring back at me.

Not exactly what happened.

Screaming, flailing, head buried in my shoulder, she began to sob.  It was too much.  I had decorated with bright, happy sherbet colors of pink, lime green and yellow.  She was overwhelmed and I felt terrible!  How had I not thought that through?  My poor baby had been thrown into a situation, a family, a culture that she didn't know and her room was just the last straw.

Over the course of several days, she began to feel more comfortable with all the color and I learned a lot from that experience with our Love Bug.  And with Little Man, I want to be more sensitive to the colors I use in his space.  I want it to be a place of rest.  A place that soothes him.  I initially thought I would go with a grey, white and yellow theme but after considering the feeling I wanted him to experience in his bedroom, we decided to use warm tones of beige, navy and hints of deep red.

I found the pattern for his strip rag quilt here.

After looking in several craft and fabric stores for flannel fabric, I started searching online.  I hit the jackpot with Flannel World.com.

This chalk board was a steal at Hobby Lobby.  I plan on changing out the verse in his room from time to time but for now, I am holding on to the promise of God that Little Man has been called by name and God is in control of his life.

I bought the two crates at Michael's and put picture hooks on the back of them to hang them.  I got the idea here.

My sweetest of friends, Katie (you can follow her amazing blog here), gave me her precious boys' nursery linens to help us cut costs on putting Little Man's room together.  The valance was part of that set, along with the crib skirt.  I used burlap to make the curtains and followed a tutorial here.

The rocker in the corner is my favorite piece in the whole room (albeit not the prettiest).  I have spent hours in that rocking chair cuddling and feeding my loves and prior to each one of them being born, I spent many nights dreaming about them, praying for them, waiting for them.  This chair was the whole reason I wanted the room complete.  I wanted a place to go to feel close to our son.  He is ours in our hearts but not in our home.  I desperately want to feel connected to him.  I can do very little for him physically during the wait, but I can pray for him.  This chair serves an eternal purpose.

Such cute finds at Hobby Lobby!  The trucks and lunch box clock are so boy!

Now all we need is the big boy!!

Tween Bedroom Makeover

We don't have much to report in terms of Jack's adoption process. We continue to wait for our Letter of Confirmation from the chinese government, which could take up to 2 more months to receive, and even once we receive that letter, it is approximately 3 months until we travel to bring our little man home.  Best news in all that is - we are looking at traveling some time this summer to bring him home!

I find that when I am waiting or anticipating something to come and the wait is long, a way for me to cope is to set up distractions, projects, and goals to make the wait pass more quickly.  I also love, love, love decorating kids' rooms… I've never met a kid's room makeover that I didn't like.  There is something about the whimsy and spectrum of color that I can use in a child's room that throws out the boring norms in the rest of the house out the window.  So for the past several months, I have been switching rooms in our house to make room for Little Man.

Rosie Posie agreed to switch her room to the former guest room, so this summer while she was away at summer camp, I furiously worked at transforming the once beige and bland room into a tween's playground.  I scoured Pinterest for ideas on how to include her in the process and asked her what color scheme she would like in a new room before she left for camp.  When she returned, we did a few art projects together so she could display her own art in the room.

I started with the color on the walls.  She wanted a "Robin's Egg Blue" and "Bright Purple" theme.  I found the technique for the focal wall in the room here.  After painting the room, I set to work on the curtains.  I found my pattern for sewing the Roman Shade here.  The furniture is a sentimental and equally gorgeous heirloom of my best friend's grandmother back home.

I had an old landscape print in the white frame over her bed when the room was for guests, so I just popped the backing off, put in some purple fabric and hot-glued a sparkly blue monogram K from Hobby Lobby on the front to create the art piece.  I made a few of the pillows on the bed and the rest I found at Home Goods and Hobby Lobby.  The bedspread is an ombre blue from Macy's we found on clearance for $50!   We found a lot of the special table pieces at Hobby Lobby.  The paper lanterns in the corner were a collection from a few leftover party decorations and a few from Target and Hobby Lobby.

This butterfly heart canvas idea was inspired by an idea I found here.  Rosie Posie and I put this together in an evening, using paint chips (free!!).

This art piece is a canvas that we used with a variety of cup bottoms to create the circles… Even little sis got involved on this painting!

The shelves that flank Rosie's bed were already in the room as a guest room on a different wall.  (They used to be white).  I gave them to the girls to paint one evening and then they did the back of both shelves the next morning.  We popped out the ceramic circle insert, painted them blue and placed them back in with some glue.

I sewed a multi-fabric bedskirt to tie in the green with the rest of the room.  Rosie Posie was so surprised when she came home from camp and it was such a fun surprise for a little girl that I am watching become a young lady right before my eyes.  She was so happy with the way the room turned out!
I also painted a space we had in her closet that opens up to a storage area under the staircase and used to store random junk.  We cleared it out while she was gone, gave it a coat of purple paint and I sewed a curtain to hang over the opening.  Now she can sneak with her girlfriends back behind her coats and enter her "special secret space" that is just for her.

I also painted this space behind her closet, under the staircase.  We cleared it out while she was gone, gave it a coat of purple paint and I sewed a curtain to hang over the opening.  Now she can sneak with her girlfriends back behind her coats and enter her "special secret space" that is just for her.

Great News About Jack on His Birthday

I woke up with a pit in my stomach on February 19th.  I knew the day would be hard because Jack turned two that day.  While we were able to have the warmth and comfort of family, he still did not.  But I chose to celebrate his life anyway.  After all, he is coming home soon (and the sooner the better!)

My parents are in town this week from California and we decided to stop by the local Asian market and get some sweet treats at the bakery counter in the market.  A friend of mine, who grew up in China, told me that birthdays are typically celebrated with a sweet treat to remind the people of the sweetness of life - I love that!  So we picked up individual cakes so that each person could choose their own flavor.  The desserts were beautiful and I was happy to be thanking God for leading us to Jack, but my mama heart was still heavy.  There were a few times during the day that I had to blink back tears and choose gratitude instead.

But that was before I got the most AMAZING phone call!!  

Our case worker from the adoption agency called when we returned from the market and asked me if she could have my permission for something involving another little boy at Jack's orphanage.  At first, I thought… wait… what?! … she wants us to adopt two little guys… (I must say, I was totally ready to say yes!)  But, that wasn't the story at all.  I kind of tend to jump the gun and get a little ahead of myself.  

Anyway, our case worker said that she had received a phone call recently, from a family that had used our adoption agency in the past.  This family was now in the process of adopting a little boy from Jack's orphanage using another agency.  This other adoptive mama had called to ask permission to reach out to our family because she was hoping the boys might be able to connect once they were both back home state side.  That was a major answer to our prayers, in and of itself, because I had been praying that God would reveal parts of Jack's story before he came to us so that we could share with him how God had continuously carried him and called him by name since he was conceived.  But I was anxious about how much story he would have because it is illegal to relinquish custody of a child in China to authorities.  That means that anyone who wants to put a child up for adoption needs to do so under the cloak of night and in complete secret, without a trace.  

So the fact that Jack would now have some personal connection with a boy at his very same orphanage out of all the 2.1 billion people in China was enough to make me giddy.  But the story got even BETTER!

This other adoptive mama who spoke to our case worker said that her church had partnered with Jack's orphanage and had been sending medical and care teams to spend time with the children there.  She had been to his orphanage herself two times and both times had spent significant time with our Jack!   Our caseworker gave me her name and phone number and I could hardly wait to make the call.

I spoke with the other little boy's mama twice that day.  She shared amazing stories of what Jack's little personality is like, a bit about his medical condition and care, and the coolest news… both of our boys had been moved, sometime in late November or early December, to FOSTER CARE!!

Somebody pinch me!  I had to just stop and pause a minute and consider what had just transpired in a matter of moments within my heart.  Just a few hours earlier I had been moping around my kitchen, not sure if it made sense to eat the cake we purchased because it wasn't fair that Jack couldn't experience it. And the thought of him not having a birthday celebration or any mention of his big 2 year birthday just broke my heart…. fast forward a few hours and now I can picture my sweet boy sitting in the lap of his new foster mother, with one on one attention and a bestfriend/ buddy to boot!!

Wow God… just Wow!!  I am floored by God's hand in all this at every turn but then again, like a friend reminded me recently, He likes it that way.  Because if I expected it, then I wouldn't be able to marvel in His goodness like I am.

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing, you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness."  Psalm 30:11

So on this day, our son's 2nd birthday, he is not sitting in an orphanage crib, counting dots on the ceiling tiles.  He is being loved by a woman with a preschool educator's background and his only foster brother shares one of the same medical conditions as our son!

Just like the verse that we have chosen to display in Jack's room says, "I have called you by name; you are mine" we wait in anticipation for the day when these little boys can be buddies and continue their friendship with their forever families.