Day 4: Meaning in the Monotonous

Today felt a bit like Groundhog Day to Dustin and I... wake up at 7, breakfast by 8, walk around the lake with Jack while it is still doable to be outside before the midday heat, back to the room for nap, play time until dinner at the hotel room, down to the restaurant for dinner, back to the room for bathtime and bed...
But the thing is, although this is our "routine" for the next few days, there is absolutely nothing routine about it.  Because for our sweet boy, every moment we are spending with him, we are creating bonds and trust and structure.  Each time I pull out the changing mat to change his diaper and he comes running over with a big smile, laying down with his wide eyes looking back at me with trust, I am grateful for the monotony.  He is learning so many new things with every giggle, every conversation.
We have been able to facetime with the kids at home at wake time and again before bed and that has also been great for Jack.  He is now starting to recognize their faces and is saying "hello" and "I luh you" along with kisses blown across the screen to another continent where his brother and sisters can catch them.  We sing the nursery song "Open, Shut them, Give a little clap" about thirty times a day and he is happy as a clam every time he hears things familiar.
Nap time and night time are the hardest - it is when we see him grieving the loss of what has been the most.  Last night he reached over to hold my hand as he feel asleep and clung to me in the night, when he stirred in his sleep.  These are difficult moments to watch.  We are praying that with each time he grieves and sees us there when he opens his eyes, he is beginning to feel safe.  We are never going to leave him.  He is home in our arms.
Along with the emotional journey in his heart, we have also had some seriously silly moments.  Like when I pulled out the party blowers and he stuck them all in his mouth at once and blew... belly laughs followed from all of us!

Or when I pulled out the ipad for the first time and he spent a good hour popping bubbles on the screen...

Notice the glasses on top of his head - that is how he insists on wearing them, even though I tried to show him how to wear them, which lasted for about three seconds...

We've learned to make our own fun with what we have - Dustin and Jack have spent lots of time wrestling and having tickle wars...

There is definitely meaning in the monotonous!