Thursday, May 12, 2011

What does One Day Mean?

5 weeks ago we saw the face of our sweet Penelope for the first time.  And each day that passes by (and, by the way, they are NOT going quickly, no matter how much stuff we cram into our day!) I think ...

One.... More.... Day....

But I vacillate between what one more day means.  On one hand, I think "today is one day CLOSER to bringing Penelope home".

And on the flip side, I think "today is one more day that Penny is apart from us".

I shared this ping pong match going on in my heart with my mom the other day and she laid it out in black and white.  I love that about my mom.  She always knows how to stretch me and challenge me to go deeper.  So here's what she shared:

Isn't it funny how when you didn't know who Penny was and you would say, "I know God's timing is perfect.  Penny isn't ready for us and God has her in His hands.  She is His and He has the best in mind for her."  And it was easy to trust in God's plan because it didn't ask you to stretch outside of what was comfortable.

But now, you have seen her face and you know where she is and you begin to challenge the same authority of God's plan and timing that had come so easy for you before.   Now you say, "She is mine and if God knows what is best for her, then he should make things move quickly."  Not so with God - He doesn't work in our timing.  He had the best in mind for Penny before we saw her sweet face and He continues to have the best in mind for her now.

Since my mom shared that, I have begun to ask forgiveness from my Savior.  Forgive me for not trusting that You care and adore Penny more deeply and thoroughly than I EVER could.  Forgive me for asking you to "get with the program" and "make things happen quickly" so that I don't have to wait.  Forgive me for not seeking you in the waiting so that I can pray for the spiritual battles ahead of us in this wait - You are the GREAT I AM - I claim the promise that you can move mountains but I also know that because You are God and I am NOT, I will trust that mountains will move when you see fit and not when I see fit.

*By the way, a little side note.  We got a new update on Penny last week with a new picture and updated medical information.  Man, oh man, if it was even possible, I think the girl got even cuter!  Sweet little chubby legs and dimpled wrists and her hair has grown out some (it looked like they must have shaved it a few months back) and is so stinkin' Curly-Q adorable.

2 comments:

  1. reading your post gave me a huge grin on my face and in my heart! penny is going to have an awesome forever family!!

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  2. Somehow when you restate whatever I said, it sounds so much more meaningful! I love that about you!

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